A Dead Battery, A Pet Violation, and an Awful Trip to the Dentist

This Tacky Tuesday was NOT a tough one to write. I have enough material from Monday evening / Tuesday morning to write for days. But I won't. Instead, I'll tell you about the events, and the silver linings within each of these events.

Let's get started:

1. I killed my car battery by leaving it on for three hours after my lunch break on Monday. I also didn't know that a jump is not an automatic fix. That is, if you're like me and your car has the same battery that it's always had when you bought it, it probably will not survive this unfortunate event. But, rest-assured AAA will eagerly come to your rescue and give you a fresh new battery (once you hand them $99.

Silver Lining - I learned something about cars. And, Tony, the AAA guy, was super nice and made the entire event far less painful.

2. When i finally got to head home from work, I found a "pet violation" notice on my door. Wondering why? Well, my apartment charges $300 PER PET. This is not refundable. More than that, that is just wayyy too much money. When I moved in, I figured I'd make sure Paisley and Augie kept a low profile and all would be well. Nope. The pest control guys came to my apartment last week when I was at work and sprayed. I'm assuming that the cats were all over them and they told the front office. And today, I got the pleasure of writing a $300 check to them. The other $300 is due at the beginning of next month. Ugh. (Now I'm out $400 in case you're keeping track.)

Silver Lining - My cats can go outside for a bit without fear they'll be found out. Every cat loves a little grass from time to time. And, they could even meet the Siamese stray cat, that I know they've been dying to be friends with.

3. Bright and early this Tuesday morning, I got to go the dentist. Yay. Please note the sarcasm. It blew. Now, I'm not being a baby. This wasn't your run-of-the-mill filling, or even a root canal. This shit makes grown men cry. It also made me cry. It's so gruesome, I won't share it. But, know that it's all better and hurts far less than it did while it was happening. (If you're still keeping track of my finances. The dollar amount mentioned above more than quadrupled.)

Silver Lining - Today was one of the best days ever. Something happened to me that made my mouth immediately stop hurting. It made me know that everything, from this point forward, was going to be okay. It was going to be better than okay. It was going to be amazing.

(Blogger's Note: I apologize for the cryptic nature of that last bit. If you know me, you know what the last silver lining refers to. If not, ask and I'll probably tell. I'm still working on how to maintain someone's anonymity and bare my soul on the World Wide Web.)

Three Songs That I'm (Semi)Embarrassed to Admit I Know Every Word To

Right this second I’m sitting in my car, with the seat scooted all the way back, typing my Media Monday blog. Why you ask? Because I am a scatterbrained, absent-minded soul who leaves her lights on when returning from lunch. My battery is dead. Like dead-dead. Like I paid AAA $99 dollars for a brand-new battery.

If we’re being honest, I inadvertently left them on because I was having wayyy too much fun singing “Hey, Soul Sister.” I’m not even lying. I was jamming out.

With this extra hour of time on my hands, I’ve decided to write about music for today's Media Monday. Specifically, I decided to bare my soul and tell you about three songs that I am semi-embarrassed to admit that I know every word to. EVERY. SINGLE. WORD.

1. Barenaked Ladies – One Week (http://youtu.be/fC_q9KPczAg)

Back when this song came out, I thought it was so cool. I had just crossed over from the R&B channel to the Top 40 station and I thought that I was “hardcore” and listened to really cool “alternative" music. While I loved it at the time, in hindsight I don't know why I would think any group that came up with these lyrics was even remotely cool:

Chickity China the Chinese chicken

You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin' ...

... Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic

Like Sting I'm tantric

Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy ...

... Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon

'Cause the cartoon has got the boom anime babes

That make me think the wrong thing ... 

2. Dixie Chicks - Goodbye Earl (http://youtu.be/Gw7gNf_9njs)

Now this song was my foray into the country world. And, man, I thought these chicks were cool. They were the best of friends. The type of friends that would literally kill the dude that hurt their friend. That is so hardcore. And ballsy. They killed the dude. With poisoned black-eyed peas. (Then, the went and opened up their own roadside stand. They sold Tennessee ham and strawberry jam, in case you're curious.)

Take a look at this gem of lyrics:

... Those black eyed peas
They tasted alright to me Earl, 

You're feelin' weak?
Why don't you lay down and sleep, Earl
Ain't it dark, wrapped up in that tarp, Earl?

See what I mean? Ballsy. 

3. Christina Aguilera - Ven Conmigo (Solamente Tú) (http://youtu.be/INVNRxbjp1k)

This ... Is the Spanish version of "Come On Over Baby (All I Want Is You)". Allow me to explain. Back in 1998ish, I bought the CD single of the previously-mentioned hit. Back then, you buy the single for two or three bucks and you get like four different versions of the song. One of which just happened to be in Spanish. Now, the song, in English, is great. It came out during Christina's prime (before the Dirty album, before the baby, before messing up the National Anthem, and before the chunk).

So, for some ungodly reason, I took it upon myself to learn the song, in its entirety, in Spanish. (I guess I don't really have an explanation after all ... ) At any rate, here is one of my favorite excerpt:

Es hoy la ocasion
Tengo listo en corazon, vienes tu, oh
Ya la fiesta comenzo
Bailaremos sin control, oh, oh

Roughly translated, I think Christina is trying to say: "Today is the day. My heart is ready. The party is starting. Let's dance all crazy."

Not bad, huh? That's where four semesters of college Spanish will get you.

If you are bold enough to share your semi-embarrassing tunes, please do so. Don't make me embarrass myself all alone.

Sunday Sumday: Glass, the Dentist, and Way Too Much Mud

Weird title, huh? Allow me to explain.

I love my blog. I've posted 10 whole blogs over the past month and a half or so. (Please hold your applause for that massive accomplishment.) While writing those blogs, I realized that it's really hard to come up with blog topics, especially if you're feeling a little "blah" and / or feel like "nothing interesting if going on." And, I remembered that I'm the kind of girl that likes structure and order. My apartment may not drive this point home (because at this very moment it looks like it's been ransacked), but I really love certainty and plans and things like that.

So, with the help of a couple of my best buds, I came up with blog "themes", if you will. Here goes:

• Sunday Sumdays - These are posts devoted to writing about the highlights (and inevitable lowlights) of the past week. 
• Media Mondays - Here will be blogs focusing on the movies, music, and TV shows I'm currently obsessed with. 
• Tacky Tuesdays - The plan here is to post blogs that discuss things deemed tacky (e.g. annoying, lame, sucky, etc.) 
• Food&Wine Wednesdays - This is simple enough, I'd say. Just blogs and posts about recipes, delicious bottles of wine I've tried, etc.
• Fab Fridays - This is the antithesis of Tacky Tuesdays. Here's where I'll talk about things (anything) I just love and can't get enough of.

You'll notice Thursdays and Saturdays are left off the list. These are freebie / free-for-all days, meaning that some days I may be blogging about random stuff that doesn't fit any of these molds or I'll be taking the night off from blogging entirely. A little "me" time goes a loooong way, people.

Now that that's out of the way (if you're still reading) here's my first Sunday Sumday post:

The first thing that comes to mind is WARRIOR DASH, which was this past Saturday. I briefly mentioned it a couple posts ago. I believe I said something about how I petrified of the race. Believe me I was. I won't get into it here because there will be a separate post on the Warrior Dash soon, but here's a little teaser: a picture of me. After I crossed the FINISH line.

Believe it.

Last Thursday, Britnee and I went to the glass-fusing place. It was her first time to go but I've been before. That experience was documented here. We made a Christmas-esque creation this go-around. Here's the "before" shot of mine:

You like? I like. The final product will hopefully be ready for pick-up in a few days. 

Last Tuesday, I got to see my friend Laurie. TWICE. This is a big deal because we don't live in the same city. Laurie is one of my very best friends. I've know her since my sophomore year of college. We lived together for three years. We were in the same sorority. And we are the kind of friends that have maintained our friendship throughout all of the undeniably growing you do from the ages of 19-26.  

Oh I almost forgot, I also went to the dentist this week. Yay. And dentists have an uncanny way of making you feel like a pretty crap human being because you maybe don't floss regularly, and maybe you have a tendency to eat sweet stuff before passing out for the night while watching Season 2 of Grey's Anatomy. (It happens to me about 5 times a week. No judgment.) Bitches. Anywho, they handed me a hefty "treatment plan" and an even more hefty (heftier?) bill. Sigh. Gotta love it.

Well, I'm soo pumped about this coming week. It's a short work week. There will be lots and lots of food. And I get to see my family, which I don't do enough.

And, I have a visitor that should be touching down in San An in circa 36 hours. This visit is way overdue. So pumped.

Pasta with Bacon, Mushrooms, and Chicken

I have an obsession. It’s a relatively new obsession, but it’s been hitting me pretty hardcore. That obsession is … mushrooms. (Insert joke about psychedelic mushrooms here.)

But, seriously, in the past month or so, I’ve been all about the mushrooms. I can’t quite put my finger on it because I used to think they were pretty gross. But recently, the little Jonna in my head keeps saying, “bring on the ‘shrooms!” I love them on pizza and I really like them in Italian-inspired meals. And, I love them so much that I decided to make this:

This is Pasta with Bacon, Mushrooms, and Chicken. How freakin’ good does that look? And it tastes just as good as it looks, believe me.

 No, I did not take this picture. But, boy do I wish I had those photography skills! I’ll even accept the ability to make my food look like that when I cook it.

I took this recipe (and the picture) from The Pioneer Woman and adapted it a bit for me. I added the chicken part because I wanted it to be a strong standalone meal, and not just a hearty side. I kind of have this theory that, in order for pasta to be a meal, it needs a meat of some sort accompanying it.

At any rate, here’s what you’ll need to make this:

Paisley: Mmm, Good choice with the chicken, Mom. Well done.

Augie: Bacon?! This has bacon and chicken?! Bacon makes everything better. I’m so excited to lick your bowl when you’re done!

Hehehe. Okay, here are the ingredients, in list form:

2 tablespoons Olive Oil

2 Chicken Breasts

3 slices Thin Bacon, cut into ½ inch pieces

3 cloves Garlic, minced

 1 package (10 ounces) Mushrooms (I used baby Portobellos)

1 cup low-sodium Chicken Broth

1 cup Half-and-Half

¼ cup Heavy Whipping Cream

3 whole Green Onions, white and light green parts sliced

¼ cup Parsley, minced (I used the curly kind, because that’s all HEB had)

¼ cup Parmesan Cheese, freshly grated (and some extra)

Salt

Pepper

1 pound Pasta (I used Linguine, because I already had some) 

And here’s how you make this. It’s as easy as … pasta.

• Cook pasta according to package directions.
• While that’s going, you’ll want to grill up the chicken breasts. Wash them, then pat them dry, and then salt and pepper them. Now, ladies and gentlemen, here’s where I reveal my secret ingredient.

• Mrs. Dash. If you haven’t ever used this, you need to. It’s a wonderful seasoning blend that saves you the trouble of having to think when you season things. And, this particular kind (there are like nine different Mrs. Dash blends) is delicious and complements the rest of the pasta dish wonderfully. So hurry up and sprinkle your chicken with this, and grill it on up. Then, chop it up and save it for later.
• In a large skillet, heat olive oil over medium-high heat. Add bacon pieces and cook until light brown but not crisp. Remove bacon from pan and set aside. Do not clean pan.
• Add mushrooms and garlic to pan. Toss/stir around and cook over medium-high heat for 5 minutes; increase heat to high if needed to help mushrooms begin to turn golden brown.
• Pour in chicken broth. Stir, scraping the bottom of the pan to loosen any bits. Cook over medium-high heat for several minutes, or until the liquid is reduced by half.
• Reduce heat and pour in half and half and cream. Stir and allow to bubble and thicken for a couple of minutes. Add sliced green onions and parsley, then cook for one more minute. Finally, add Parmesan and stir, allowing cheese to melt and incorporate into the sauce. Turn off heat.
• Add cooked pasta to a large bowl. Add half the sauce from the pan. Toss with tongs.
• Add 1/2 cup hot pasta water at this point if the pasta mixture is too thick and gunky. Toss and add more water until it reaches the consistency you need.
• Serve pasta in individual bowls, topping each helping with the rest of the sauce and some of your grilled chicken. Sprinkle with extra parsley and extra Parmesan.

Enjoy! This recipe will serve four hungry folks.

(Blogger’s Note: The first image and much of the preparation instructions are from The Pioneer Woman. I love her, but she’s never heard of me. But, the woman cooks some dang good stuff.)

P-p-p-poker Face, P-p-poker Face

Last night, I got together with three of my best friends Britnee, Leigh, and Lindsay for a friendly game of poker. Now if you know me at all, you’re probably assuming that I don’t know the first thing about playing poker. And, you’d be … right.

I was clueless, people. Like really clueless. But I have emerged from last night a stronger, wiser, poker player. So, I present to you a list of the things I learned during my first foray into the gambling world:

1.    The chips represent arbitrary amounts that you and your group decide on. Okay, let’s see if I can explain this (correctly). When you get ready to play the game, you first gather everyone’s money (a.k.a. their “buy-in”) and set it off to the side. Now, you know the pretty chips that everyone has set up in front of them? Well, before the game starts, you just give them an agreed-upon amount. My entire life, I thought that those chips represented actual dollars and cents and whenever the game ended, you got your percentage of the pot. Nope. Winner takes all. Kinda blows, huh? Since our buy-in was $10, there was a 25% chance I’d walk away with thirty extra dollars and a 75% chance I’d be out $10.  

2.    A poker face is imperative. You have to be able to bluff. You just do, it’s part of the game. And I couldn’t bluff. For squat. At the beginning of the game, I had this amazing streak of beginner’s luck. I was clueless and yet I was getting all these great hands (including, but not limited to, TWO full houses, back to back). And as I got all these great hands, I was smirking. Well, Britnee said I was smirking. In all actuality, I was beaming like an idiot. Anywho, once I started to lose / get dealt crappy hands, my entire demeanor changed. I was just this sad, emo kid looking at my cards listlessly. And my beautiful stacks of chips were disappearing. Fast. It was soo sad.

3.    My knowledge of poker is / was deplorable. I can’t say it enough. Right when the game started, I confessed to my friends that about 67% of all that I know about poker comes from “The Parent Trap.” Yes, I’m talking about the 1998 Lindsay Lohan Disney movie. 24 percent comes from this one episode of Friends where the boys agree to let the girls play with them, even though they have no idea what they’re doing. (The other 9% comes from me Googling “poker for dummies” at work the day before and using my phone for a reference on what the different hands are.) None of these helped me last night.

If you’re curious as to what specific scene, I’m talking about from “The Parent Trap,” check this little YouTube gem out:

4.    Do not celebrate until you’re sure you’ve won. So, during this one hand, there’s tons of chips in play and I was feeling really confident. If I remember correctly, I had a full house (3 queens and 2 kings, I think). I was in the perfect position to redeem myself and win back some chips. I totally thought I had it in the bag. Britnee had folded and it was just me, Leigh, and Lindsay. Leigh showed her cards and they weren’t a full house. I proudly displayed my cards, calmly stating, “I have a full house.” I began pulling (what I believed to be) my winnings toward me. Then, Lindsay, who’s sitting to my right quietly, but repeatedly, asks me what my high card in my full house is. Proudly, I say, “king.” Then, I look over and see that her high card is an ace. Aces are high, which means I lost. You should have heard the expletives and seen the slamming of cards and chips. It was awful. I was depressed. And pissed at myself for prematurely celebrating.

5.    The house always wins. After four hours, 2/3 of a 6-inch Subway sandwich (tuna, if you’re curious), and four Shiner Light Blondes, I emerged a loser. Ugh. And Leigh (who hosted the poker night) won. Won the whole pot. She’s $30 richer. If we ever do this again, we’re doing it at my house. For sure.

Kitties and Ice Cream

Last night, I was sitting on my couch watching Survivor (do not judge my reality TV choices) and I thought to myself, man, I really want some ice cream. So, I went to my freezer and grabbed this:

 
And, before I could dig my spoon into the deliciousness, this appeared:

That is Paisley. My eldest cat. And he is awesome. Look at that nose. And I think he takes after me and my love of sweets.

Anyway, whenever ice cream is in the picture, this usually happens:

And, I can't help but share. Who can resist that nose?!

Oh, but wait, Augie, the little brother of Paisley, can't help but join the fun. First, he sniffs ...

 ... then, he unabashedly licks away.

Isn't he just an all-gray ball of preciousness? I freakin' love him. And Paisley. I love them both. More than my Ben and Jerry's.


(Blogger's Note: I realize this post makes me seem like a gigantic cat lady. I should care, but I just don't. Those two kitties are my kids. Ugh, now I sounds like more of a cat lady!)

Glass-Fusing: Part Two

The momentous day is here, people!! I got my glass fusing project back the other day!

For those of you who don't remember, (or maybe never read the first blog) here's the before:

And here's the after!

Isn't it pretty?!?! I absolutely love it. And now, I may have one expensive hobby on my hands. Below are more pictures of my work.

This one I love because it shows how the layers of glass can really alter the final shape of the piece. What was initially a perfect square of clear class became jagged and, for lack of a better word, bumpy on the top and bottom edges.

 The mold that they put it in makes it this shape. It's supposed to resemble a sushi dish. For me, it makes an excellent jewelry-that-I-wear-almost-everyday-holder.

See? :)